Feedback Thoughts: The Difficulty in Conveying Feedback

When reading 5 Tips For Taking Feedback Like a Champ I realized that I am not the best with receiving feedback. I think this is because I work so hard on everything I do that it just seems like an insult if someone else doesn't think that my work is very good. I wouldn't say I get upset but rather a little defensive. In this article I really enjoyed the second tip of receiving negative potential meaning I haven't reached my full potential. When one thinks about feedback in that way you can't help but feel positive because as a person you are able to expand and become even greater than before. I also enjoyed tip 5 talking about "self-compassion". I think it is important to treat oneself like a coach in the encouraging yet flexible sense. I feel like everyone needs to push themselves in the direction of their goals and passion so to be honest with yourself is the best means of feedback in my mind.

Being a perfectionist myself, I couldn't help but read 14 Signs Your Perfectionism Has Gotten Out of Control. This article weirdly described my perfectionism which I guess means I'm out of control 😐. I think the sign of "you take everything personally" was the one that meant the most sense for me. I do have a problem of taking things too literal from people which ends up hurting me leading to me being defensive and maybe even attacking the other person with harsher feedback. These articles made me realize that I need to take a step back and relax some in order to improve myself better.

When I think about the different types of feedback I have received over my life its pretty easy to see which type benefitted me and what didn't. When it comes to feedback from my parents or coaches it has always been where the screaming and being too harsh or condescending just doesn't work for me. I need someone to show me exactly how or what to do and then encourage me as I practice it. I do think there is time and place for screaming for feedback however especially through sports. For example I had a wrestling coach who was very loud and obnoxious but he did all of his screaming in an encouraging way. I truly think some people just have a way of communicating feedback to others that fires them up and others don't. What I think it comes from is that person truly wanting the other to succeed. If that person believes in me then I can believe in myself but if not then its just negativity.

A picture of Bob Stoops from Wikimedia Commons