This is my Comment Wall post. Here is the place that will take you directly to my Portfolio. Here will be stories that I revise and create to be perfect by the end of this semester! Hope you enjoy!
Hey Gavin! I really liked your first story of your portfolio; it's really off to a great start! First of all I love dogs, so what a great topic to make your first story about. It was also really creative to change the story of Ovid's metamorphosis to be in a dogs perspective. This story really modernizes and makes the message of the original story more captivating to young people. You could make your entire portfolio a dog theme and have each story be in the perspective/mindset of a dog, because who doesn’t love dogs? The part where you said, “With a sad look in her eyes she exclaimed that she wasn’t in love with him” really made me sad because I do love a story with a happy ending, but it was definitely a great story overall. Anyways, good luck with the rest of your project and happy blogging!
Hi Gavin! Great Story! Really sad though, I didn't really enjoy the ending and now I feel crushed. Buster did all that work to bring the stuffed animal to life and she left him without anything more than a "hey thanks." But it was definitely a good plot twist even though it left me feeling robbed. I see what you were trying to do with the repeated he would or she began, but it caused the story to not flow very well. You should consider changing the wording to make the story flow better and perhaps describe the transformation from stuffed animal to a real dog with more detail than "real fur" or "move her eyes." Maybe describe the color and texture of her fur and say how her eyes looked when they moved. I would imagine her fur would be pretty disgusting after being in the trash so long. The overall story is good, but more description of the characters would make it better.
I thought your story was really cool and so sad! It's funny, I wrote one of my weekly stories over the same myth! I loved how you turned them into dogs instead of people, that is really cute! Poor Buster was so sad and lonely and he just wanted a friend. It was really sad when Penny left him! Maybe you could write a little more on why Penny had to go so quickly? Was she once a real dog and that is when she got lost or was she always a stuffed dog and somehow still knew her owner had lost her? That part confused me a little bit! Also maybe going into a little more background detail on Buster would be a cool idea! That way we can know why he is so lonely and why the other dogs never want to play with him! Overall I loved the twist you put on this story and it was really entertaining to read!
I really thought thought that your story was well written. It was easy to follow and the twist at the end made the story even better. Although it was a bit sad. The one thing I think you could work on is more detail into how Penny came to life. You could make it more suspenseful by adding a couple more things Buster tries to get her to come alive and when he finally gives up something amazing happens! I believe that would make the ending even more devastating like you are trying to make it. It would make that twist of the story even more impactful. I also suggest describing each dog more, so we can get an idea in our head as to how each of them looked and we can imagine our own characters. Other than those things I really enjoyed a young twist on the story and cant wait to read the rest of your portfolio!
Hi Gavin! I really enjoyed your story although it was a bit sad. I expected a different outcome as I was reading the story so the ending caught me off-guard for sure. The story was well written and I was well connected with the puppy and almost felt the enjoyment through your words. I felt really bad when he made Penny come to life and she left so suddenly. I wish Buster could have had a little more time with her so they could have some fun getting to know each other. They could have talked about her past of where she came from or just anything in general where she would have stuck around a little bit longer.The portfolio design is awesome I especially liked the cover page image.I'm still trying to figure it out a bit but yours made me get some ideas for mine! Great job I hope to read more of your stories.
I really like reading each of your stories! I think that you have a great imagination. I like your ability to retell a story and present it in a more modern light. Man, that ending was a real tearjerker! I expected Buster to finally have the best friend that he always wanted. He would no longer have to pretend that Penny was alive. That abrupt ending really hit the feels! I wonder what would happen if Buster decided he no longer loved Penny? That would make for a very ironic tale! I think if you added more dialogue you could really extend the life of the story! You could maybe add some adventures that involve Buster and Penny. Overall, I think you did a great job with this story! That ending totally caught me by surprise, so you did a solid with that one. I am looking forward to what you will do in the future.
I really enjoyed reading your first story, Puppy. You did a great job of rewriting an ancient tale and making it modern. I love animals, so reading this story from a dogs point of view was intriguing to me. I expected Buster to get to best friend he always wished for, and was surprised when Penny said she did not love him. I wonder what would have happen if Penny invited Buster to go find her owner with her? That would be a fun ending, but I realize he abrupt ending was what you were going for! If you wanted to make your story long I think that you could give more detailed experiences of Buster and Penny, or even add some more dialogue between them! I liked your Portfolio design! The formatting of your story could be cleaned up a little, for there is some weird spacing, but overall it looks fantastic! I look forward to reading more stories in the future!
Hi Gavin. Your story was really good, and you chose a really great topic to capture almost any audience's hearts. I was not expecting your story to turn out the way it did. I thought Buster would find love with Penny and maybe they would even find a home together. I really like how you took a story and completely transformed it into another context, but you still kept the same lesson. Even though Penny did not love buster, why did she not offer for him to go with her? I wonder how the story would have turned out if she had. What if Buster would have made a complete wish, with Penny staying with him? Would he have had a better life or would they have found a loving home together. I really wish things would have ended better for poor buster. If you needed to add length you could create more dialogue between Buster and Penny or maybe even describe them. This was a great story and I cannot wait to read more.
Hey there Gavin! Super nice to meet ya! I will say this this is a very interesting idea for a story. I can see why you choose portfolio style, because it might be difficult to write one long story over this all semester, when really, they could be multiple little stories. The idea of turning the original stories into kid-friendly ones is great to me! However, I was surprised to see that your first story ended with an un-happy ending. You don't see many stories reaching out to kids that end with something other than a happy ending. I am glad that you have a homepage going aside from the introduction, that gives a little background knowledge on the type of story you are writing. For a reader just coming in for the first time, sometimes the authors note at the end is not enough information for someone to formulate a good idea. A good back ground knowledge can really heighten how much a reader retains and enjoys the story. I can see you have it going, but I would definitely elaborate on it!
Hi Gavin! I enjoyed reading your story Liam's Revenge. I feel like this is a situation that anyone with siblings has had to deal with. It's sad image to think of a little sister using expensive games as Frisbees. The part about the boy plotting revenge on his sister for ruining his games was a priceless image and really made the story come to life. The end was very sad to read, the Image of the doll's leg was perfectly placed in the story to provide maximum impact of what had just happened in the story. I really enjoyed how you took the concept of revenge from Homer's Iliad and applied it to a fight among siblings. Also the Author's note tied in the elements of the story to the story source very well. Great story Gavin!
Hello Gavin, this was quite different from the Iliad but I must admit I had a grin throughout the whole story! I also chose to do the Iliad for one of my stories and it was one of my favorites so far. I believe it was a brilliant idea that you made it into a more “kid friendly” version although I enjoyed the action in the original story. I have 4 siblings so I could picture almost everything from your story and the revenge factor was great! Maybe you could go into more detail about the original story in your author’s note. I have already read it and am familiar with it but I feel if I didn’t know anything about the Iliad, I would be lost. Other than that I thought it was a great story and the ending was perfect. The picture you chose was too perfect for this story!
Hi Gavin! Aw I thought “A puppy’s Wish” was absolutely adorable! It was one of the cuter stories I’ve gotten to read. My favorite part was how Buster discovered the fortunate cookie, and there was hope! My favorite part about the second story was the dramatic introduction! This immediately caught my attention. I was looking for something a little less dramatic at the end, but the story was the complete opposite of that! I thought the evil end was a nice touch to the theme of the story even though it was harsh to read. I did wonder more about the original story. What if you added in something that made a bigger connection to the original story? You could include horses or a chariot as a symbol of the original story. Other than that, I thought it was a different and unique read. I look forward to more stories from you!
I am back again to read your second story! I really enjoyed your writing style for the first one, and I wanted to use this week to catch up on what you have been working on. I can tell that your have been really working on adding dialogue and imagery to your stories. I think that is great, and it adds a ton of detail for the reader to imagine the situation. The plot of the story made me a bit sad for Liam! I loved video games as a child, so I know how he must have felt. That was devastating for him, and you really brought that to life with your writing. His newfound quest for revenge was cool to see. You drew me in when he began plotting revenge in his head. I wonder if Liam is satisfied with what he did? I could see him wanting to do more than just destroy his sister's doll. What if he turns into a menace and begins destroying all of his sister's things? That would be an entertaining development to read. Overall, you are doing great!
Hi Gavin! I really enjoyed reading both of your stories! I like that both of them are retellings of stories that originally would not be appropriate for children, but you changed certain elements to make them perfect for kids. That shows real creativity and it's very entertaining for the reader! "A Puppy's Wish" is such a cute story, even though it has a sad ending. The language you used is great for kids, and you conveyed the main elements of "Pygmalion" very well. I like how the style of writing that you used for when Penny wakes up mirrors the style of writing for when Buster plays with the stuffed version of her earlier. The meaning of the last sentence of this story, where you talk about the details of love, wasn't quite clear to me until I read the author's note. Perhaps you could include one more sentence in the story to make it clear to your reader what you mean by the importance of details. Liam's revenge is such a great modern, kid-centered take on The Iliad! I think anyone with siblings will be able to relate to brother-sister revenge dynamic in this story. If you are still doing revisions on this story, maybe you could add more description about what happens to the doll and Liam's reaction as it happens. For example, maybe her leg pops off and he hoots and hollers about it. Both these stories were a lot of fun to read, and I hope to return to your portfolio in the future!
Hi Gavin, I like the idea behind your portfolio, and I think you have accomplished it well. I am a little confused by the phrase on your homepage "by including ones (one's) younger days as children to being young adults." I liked your retelling of Pygmalion with dogs, it was really cute. I have to admit I was initially surprised by the ending, but it makes sense. It might be nice if Buster were to go with Penny to look for her owner. Although it would change the message of your story, it would make Buster's love seem realer even than Pygmalion's. You did a really good job making Liam and his sister child-like but still with very strong, not necessarily positive emotions. Even the ridiculousness of using a video game as a frisbee fits, and when not connected with the Iliad, dragging something through the mud like that seems even more childish, though no less cruel. I enjoyed your stories!
Hello Gavin! Very interesting first story. I have read the original and I like how you changed the ending. It makes sense and doesn't seem forced at all. A few things I would have like to see is some more detail. What kind of dog was Buster? What about Penny, was she a certain breed stuffed animal? The colors of the fur could also have helped. Seeing that Penny was a stuffed animal you would think that she would always be damp living in an ally and being licked by Buster all the time. You could add a smell factor in there. Even younger audiences need things like that to keep them engaged in the story. These would just be added bonuses because it was a great story and had a fitting ending. Just remember that with stories people have to visualize the characters you are talking about so details help, even if they are minor.
Hi Gavin! I like the premise of your portfolio being for a younger generation. I agree that most of these stories can be told in a modern fashion to appeal to readers these day. I think the most memorable line in either of the stories was when you said Buster was “head over paw for Penny.” I legitimately laughed at this line while reading this story. I think my main question is how Penny ended up in the trash. What if you extended the story to where we see Penny’s original owner? I feel like this would add a lot to the story. For the second story, I like how you used children to show the theme of revenge because the characters in the original arguably acted like children. My main question is what repercussions there will be for Liam. What if you extend this story as well to maybe show that Liam doesn’t get any more video games for what he did? I think this would be an ending that would show that revenge isn’t a good thing.
Hey Gavin, I like how you modernized the Portfolio, It made it more relatable in the sense that the older stories could be brought into a more futuristic scene. I liked the way that the stories were told with the repetition of the beginning of the sentences started with the same word and how it tied into the mysterious factor of your stories. The introduction page was a nice blurb that grabbed my attention and I feel that it was effective at doing the same for other readers. A piece of criticism that I would add would be to maybe not end the stories as abruptly as they did, it wasn't that they were ended super quick but maybe add a little more closure to the stories. Overall great Portfolio! I look forward to reading more of your stories.
Gavin, I like how straight forward your introduction page is. You explain what the other stories are going to be about and what changes you made to the stories from the original. I also liked that you still included the author’s notes at the bottom on the pages. Some on the other projects do not have author’s notes and I get confused on what the original story was or how they came up with their recreation. I think your recreation Ovid’s Metamorphoses made me more sympathetic for the Buster the puppy than for Pygmalion. You created a great character. I really enjoyed the second story in your project where you recreated The Slaying of Hector. You did a great job of making the story modern and even found a way to represent Achilles dragging Hector’s body around Troy though Liam dragging his sister Barbie doll around the town. I really enjoyed reading your project, good luck with the rest of it.
Gavin, great job on your project so far! Your introduction is really straight forward and get's right to the point of what you project is about. I really enjoyed your first story, retelling the story of Pygmalion through a puppy. As you sat out to do in your introduction, you really made it more accessible for a younger generation. I also really enjoyed your take on the slaying of hector. I didn't realize when you said "younger generation" in your introduction that you meant kids but this story (with Liam dragging the barbie doll) made me realize what you meant. It's a great idea to sanitize the stories but keep the moral for children! Keep up the great work!
Hey Gavin! I really liked your first story of your portfolio; it's really off to a great start! First of all I love dogs, so what a great topic to make your first story about. It was also really creative to change the story of Ovid's metamorphosis to be in a dogs perspective. This story really modernizes and makes the message of the original story more captivating to young people. You could make your entire portfolio a dog theme and have each story be in the perspective/mindset of a dog, because who doesn’t love dogs? The part where you said, “With a sad look in her eyes she exclaimed that she wasn’t in love with him” really made me sad because I do love a story with a happy ending, but it was definitely a great story overall. Anyways, good luck with the rest of your project and happy blogging!
ReplyDeleteHi Gavin!
ReplyDeleteGreat Story! Really sad though, I didn't really enjoy the ending and now I feel crushed. Buster did all that work to bring the stuffed animal to life and she left him without anything more than a "hey thanks." But it was definitely a good plot twist even though it left me feeling robbed. I see what you were trying to do with the repeated he would or she began, but it caused the story to not flow very well. You should consider changing the wording to make the story flow better and perhaps describe the transformation from stuffed animal to a real dog with more detail than "real fur" or "move her eyes." Maybe describe the color and texture of her fur and say how her eyes looked when they moved. I would imagine her fur would be pretty disgusting after being in the trash so long. The overall story is good, but more description of the characters would make it better.
Hi Gavin!
ReplyDeleteI thought your story was really cool and so sad! It's funny, I wrote one of my weekly stories over the same myth! I loved how you turned them into dogs instead of people, that is really cute! Poor Buster was so sad and lonely and he just wanted a friend. It was really sad when Penny left him! Maybe you could write a little more on why Penny had to go so quickly? Was she once a real dog and that is when she got lost or was she always a stuffed dog and somehow still knew her owner had lost her? That part confused me a little bit! Also maybe going into a little more background detail on Buster would be a cool idea! That way we can know why he is so lonely and why the other dogs never want to play with him! Overall I loved the twist you put on this story and it was really entertaining to read!
Hey Gavin!
ReplyDeleteI really thought thought that your story was well written. It was easy to follow and the twist at the end made the story even better. Although it was a bit sad. The one thing I think you could work on is more detail into how Penny came to life. You could make it more suspenseful by adding a couple more things Buster tries to get her to come alive and when he finally gives up something amazing happens! I believe that would make the ending even more devastating like you are trying to make it. It would make that twist of the story even more impactful. I also suggest describing each dog more, so we can get an idea in our head as to how each of them looked and we can imagine our own characters. Other than those things I really enjoyed a young twist on the story and cant wait to read the rest of your portfolio!
Hi Gavin!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed your story although it was a bit sad. I expected a different outcome as I was reading the story so the ending caught me off-guard for sure. The story was well written and I was well connected with the puppy and almost felt the enjoyment through your words. I felt really bad when he made Penny come to life and she left so suddenly. I wish Buster could have had a little more time with her so they could have some fun getting to know each other. They could have talked about her past of where she came from or just anything in general where she would have stuck around a little bit longer.The portfolio design is awesome I especially liked the cover page image.I'm still trying to figure it out a bit but yours made me get some ideas for mine!
Great job I hope to read more of your stories.
Hey there again, Gavin!
ReplyDeleteI really like reading each of your stories! I think that you have a great imagination. I like your ability to retell a story and present it in a more modern light. Man, that ending was a real tearjerker! I expected Buster to finally have the best friend that he always wanted. He would no longer have to pretend that Penny was alive. That abrupt ending really hit the feels! I wonder what would happen if Buster decided he no longer loved Penny? That would make for a very ironic tale! I think if you added more dialogue you could really extend the life of the story! You could maybe add some adventures that involve Buster and Penny. Overall, I think you did a great job with this story! That ending totally caught me by surprise, so you did a solid with that one. I am looking forward to what you will do in the future.
Hi Gavin!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your first story, Puppy. You did a great job of rewriting an ancient tale and making it modern. I love animals, so reading this story from a dogs point of view was intriguing to me. I expected Buster to get to best friend he always wished for, and was surprised when Penny said she did not love him. I wonder what would have happen if Penny invited Buster to go find her owner with her? That would be a fun ending, but I realize he abrupt ending was what you were going for! If you wanted to make your story long I think that you could give more detailed experiences of Buster and Penny, or even add some more dialogue between them! I liked your Portfolio design! The formatting of your story could be cleaned up a little, for there is some weird spacing, but overall it looks fantastic! I look forward to reading more stories in the future!
Hi Gavin. Your story was really good, and you chose a really great topic to capture almost any audience's hearts. I was not expecting your story to turn out the way it did. I thought Buster would find love with Penny and maybe they would even find a home together. I really like how you took a story and completely transformed it into another context, but you still kept the same lesson. Even though Penny did not love buster, why did she not offer for him to go with her? I wonder how the story would have turned out if she had. What if Buster would have made a complete wish, with Penny staying with him? Would he have had a better life or would they have found a loving home together. I really wish things would have ended better for poor buster. If you needed to add length you could create more dialogue between Buster and Penny or maybe even describe them. This was a great story and I cannot wait to read more.
ReplyDeleteHey there Gavin! Super nice to meet ya! I will say this this is a very interesting idea for a story. I can see why you choose portfolio style, because it might be difficult to write one long story over this all semester, when really, they could be multiple little stories. The idea of turning the original stories into kid-friendly ones is great to me! However, I was surprised to see that your first story ended with an un-happy ending. You don't see many stories reaching out to kids that end with something other than a happy ending. I am glad that you have a homepage going aside from the introduction, that gives a little background knowledge on the type of story you are writing. For a reader just coming in for the first time, sometimes the authors note at the end is not enough information for someone to formulate a good idea. A good back ground knowledge can really heighten how much a reader retains and enjoys the story. I can see you have it going, but I would definitely elaborate on it!
ReplyDeleteHi Gavin! I enjoyed reading your story Liam's Revenge. I feel like this is a situation that anyone with siblings has had to deal with. It's sad image to think of a little sister using expensive games as Frisbees. The part about the boy plotting revenge on his sister for ruining his games was a priceless image and really made the story come to life. The end was very sad to read, the Image of the doll's leg was perfectly placed in the story to provide maximum impact of what had just happened in the story. I really enjoyed how you took the concept of revenge from Homer's Iliad and applied it to a fight among siblings. Also the Author's note tied in the elements of the story to the story source very well. Great story Gavin!
ReplyDeleteHello Gavin, this was quite different from the Iliad but I must admit I had a grin throughout the whole story! I also chose to do the Iliad for one of my stories and it was one of my favorites so far. I believe it was a brilliant idea that you made it into a more “kid friendly” version although I enjoyed the action in the original story. I have 4 siblings so I could picture almost everything from your story and the revenge factor was great! Maybe you could go into more detail about the original story in your author’s note. I have already read it and am familiar with it but I feel if I didn’t know anything about the Iliad, I would be lost. Other than that I thought it was a great story and the ending was perfect. The picture you chose was too perfect for this story!
ReplyDeleteHi Gavin! Aw I thought “A puppy’s Wish” was absolutely adorable! It was one of the cuter stories I’ve gotten to read. My favorite part was how Buster discovered the fortunate cookie, and there was hope! My favorite part about the second story was the dramatic introduction! This immediately caught my attention. I was looking for something a little less dramatic at the end, but the story was the complete opposite of that! I thought the evil end was a nice touch to the theme of the story even though it was harsh to read. I did wonder more about the original story. What if you added in something that made a bigger connection to the original story? You could include horses or a chariot as a symbol of the original story. Other than that, I thought it was a different and unique read. I look forward to more stories from you!
ReplyDeleteHey Gavin,
ReplyDeleteI am back again to read your second story! I really enjoyed your writing style for the first one, and I wanted to use this week to catch up on what you have been working on. I can tell that your have been really working on adding dialogue and imagery to your stories. I think that is great, and it adds a ton of detail for the reader to imagine the situation. The plot of the story made me a bit sad for Liam! I loved video games as a child, so I know how he must have felt. That was devastating for him, and you really brought that to life with your writing. His newfound quest for revenge was cool to see. You drew me in when he began plotting revenge in his head. I wonder if Liam is satisfied with what he did? I could see him wanting to do more than just destroy his sister's doll. What if he turns into a menace and begins destroying all of his sister's things? That would be an entertaining development to read. Overall, you are doing great!
Hi Gavin!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading both of your stories! I like that both of them are retellings of stories that originally would not be appropriate for children, but you changed certain elements to make them perfect for kids. That shows real creativity and it's very entertaining for the reader! "A Puppy's Wish" is such a cute story, even though it has a sad ending. The language you used is great for kids, and you conveyed the main elements of "Pygmalion" very well. I like how the style of writing that you used for when Penny wakes up mirrors the style of writing for when Buster plays with the stuffed version of her earlier. The meaning of the last sentence of this story, where you talk about the details of love, wasn't quite clear to me until I read the author's note. Perhaps you could include one more sentence in the story to make it clear to your reader what you mean by the importance of details.
Liam's revenge is such a great modern, kid-centered take on The Iliad! I think anyone with siblings will be able to relate to brother-sister revenge dynamic in this story. If you are still doing revisions on this story, maybe you could add more description about what happens to the doll and Liam's reaction as it happens. For example, maybe her leg pops off and he hoots and hollers about it. Both these stories were a lot of fun to read, and I hope to return to your portfolio in the future!
Hi Gavin,
ReplyDeleteI like the idea behind your portfolio, and I think you have accomplished it well. I am a little confused by the phrase on your homepage "by including ones (one's) younger days as children to being young adults."
I liked your retelling of Pygmalion with dogs, it was really cute. I have to admit I was initially surprised by the ending, but it makes sense. It might be nice if Buster were to go with Penny to look for her owner. Although it would change the message of your story, it would make Buster's love seem realer even than Pygmalion's.
You did a really good job making Liam and his sister child-like but still with very strong, not necessarily positive emotions. Even the ridiculousness of using a video game as a frisbee fits, and when not connected with the Iliad, dragging something through the mud like that seems even more childish, though no less cruel. I enjoyed your stories!
Hello Gavin! Very interesting first story. I have read the original and I like how you changed the ending. It makes sense and doesn't seem forced at all. A few things I would have like to see is some more detail. What kind of dog was Buster? What about Penny, was she a certain breed stuffed animal? The colors of the fur could also have helped. Seeing that Penny was a stuffed animal you would think that she would always be damp living in an ally and being licked by Buster all the time. You could add a smell factor in there. Even younger audiences need things like that to keep them engaged in the story. These would just be added bonuses because it was a great story and had a fitting ending. Just remember that with stories people have to visualize the characters you are talking about so details help, even if they are minor.
ReplyDeleteHi Gavin! I like the premise of your portfolio being for a younger generation. I agree that most of these stories can be told in a modern fashion to appeal to readers these day. I think the most memorable line in either of the stories was when you said Buster was “head over paw for Penny.” I legitimately laughed at this line while reading this story. I think my main question is how Penny ended up in the trash. What if you extended the story to where we see Penny’s original owner? I feel like this would add a lot to the story. For the second story, I like how you used children to show the theme of revenge because the characters in the original arguably acted like children. My main question is what repercussions there will be for Liam. What if you extend this story as well to maybe show that Liam doesn’t get any more video games for what he did? I think this would be an ending that would show that revenge isn’t a good thing.
ReplyDeleteHey Gavin,
ReplyDeleteI like how you modernized the Portfolio, It made it more relatable in the sense that the older stories could be brought into a more futuristic scene. I liked the way that the stories were told with the repetition of the beginning of the sentences started with the same word and how it tied into the mysterious factor of your stories. The introduction page was a nice blurb that grabbed my attention and I feel that it was effective at doing the same for other readers. A piece of criticism that I would add would be to maybe not end the stories as abruptly as they did, it wasn't that they were ended super quick but maybe add a little more closure to the stories. Overall great Portfolio! I look forward to reading more of your stories.
Gavin,
ReplyDeleteI like how straight forward your introduction page is. You explain what the other stories are going to be about and what changes you made to the stories from the original. I also liked that you still included the author’s notes at the bottom on the pages. Some on the other projects do not have author’s notes and I get confused on what the original story was or how they came up with their recreation. I think your recreation Ovid’s Metamorphoses made me more sympathetic for the Buster the puppy than for Pygmalion. You created a great character. I really enjoyed the second story in your project where you recreated The Slaying of Hector. You did a great job of making the story modern and even found a way to represent Achilles dragging Hector’s body around Troy though Liam dragging his sister Barbie doll around the town. I really enjoyed reading your project, good luck with the rest of it.
Gavin, great job on your project so far! Your introduction is really straight forward and get's right to the point of what you project is about. I really enjoyed your first story, retelling the story of Pygmalion through a puppy. As you sat out to do in your introduction, you really made it more accessible for a younger generation. I also really enjoyed your take on the slaying of hector. I didn't realize when you said "younger generation" in your introduction that you meant kids but this story (with Liam dragging the barbie doll) made me realize what you meant. It's a great idea to sanitize the stories but keep the moral for children! Keep up the great work!
ReplyDelete