Week 4 Story: Liam's Revenge

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Liam's Revenge

"I will never forgive you for what you have done" were the last words Liam said to his sister as he kicked her out of his room and slammed the door.

"How could she be so stupid as to use my video games as frisbees?" he thought to himself.

Liam was steaming mad to the point he wanted to cry. His favorite thing in the world was to come home from school and play Xbox. Now all of his favorite games were taken from him. There would be no more getting online to play games with the guys at school. For Liam had collected these games since last Christmas when he got his Xbox. These discs were everything to him.

"She will pay. I want her to know what it is like" he thought to himself.

So Liam sat in his room on his bean bag chair that he would normally play video games and began to plot his revenge. He thought for hours and hours but couldn't figure out what he wanted to do to get his little sister back for what she had done.

"I could rip all of the pages out of her coloring book" he said to himself.
"nah that isn't good enough, she doesn't love that the way I love playing games." he quickly thought.

Liam kept thinking but couldn't figure out his perfect revenge. Until late that night Liam's mom came into his room and said "I heard about the video games honey, and I'm sorry but with time we will get you your games back."

"Now its time for bed, I just tucked your sister in with her Barbie." She told him.

An evil smile rose upon his face covering from ear to ear. Liam knew exactly what he must do.
So Liam stayed up, just lying in his bed waiting for the rest of the house to be silent. Once he realized that the coast was clear, he sprung up out of bed as if he was running late for school. He tip-toed to his sister's room so quiet that one would have thought he was a ninja. He then barely opened the door and slipped in to grab his sister's Barbie.

"Got it!" he thought as he quickly went back to his room and hid the doll like nothing had even taken place.

The next day his sister immediately noticed the Barbie was gone and complained but no one seemed to care. They both went to school but Liam couldn't pay attention in the least. All he could think about was his plan to get revenge.

Once school ended and the two got home it was time to make his point. So Liam grabbed his rain jacket and the Barbie and went to the garage. He then found some rope and tied the doll as tight as he could to his bike. Once he knew that he was able to drag Barbie he poked his head in the house and yelled "I found your Barbie in the garage come get her!"

With extreme joy his sister came running faster than ever to the garage. All she saw was her brother take off on his bike dragging her Barbie.

He dragged her through puddles.
He dragged her though mud.

As his sister began to scream and cry, Liam did nothing more than smile with that same evil grin he had the night before.

For Liam knew he had gotten his revenge and it never felt so good.

A picture of a doll's leg found on Pixabay.

Author's Note:

This story is based off the idea of revenge that is performed in Homer's The Illiad. In the story, The Slaying of Hector (end), Achilles seeks revenge for his loved friend Patroclus. In order to revenge him, he kills Hector in a drawn out fight and then ties him to a chariot drawn by horses where he rides it around the city for everyone to see what he has done. Obviously I changed the story up and had Liam symbolize Achilles, his video games symbolize Patroclus, and his sister symbolize Hector. I made the version more of a children's story although it is somewhat dark in order to emphasize the desire for people to obtain revenge when they feel they have been wronged.

Bibliography:

The Slaying of Hector (end) from Homer's The Illiad retold by Alfred J. Church (1907).

Reading Notes: Homer's Illiad, Part B

The Rousing of Achilles

I know I seem to only write about the description used in these stories, but what I like about this one in particular is the description of grief. Homer goes into such detail the sadness that has overcome everyone. Explaining how the death made everyone cry showed me that to convey a sad moment you must use repetition. In repeating how many people were crying and over come with sadness due to the death of Patroclus the reader is able to understand how pivotal this moment truly is. I also enjoy the presence of Zeus in this moment. Knowing how honored Zeus is, having him react and even speak is crucial to this sadness. I think that in my writings that if I want to convey an emotion it adds dramatic effect by having a higher power interact. Even if a story doesn't involve Gods, I could even put it in the sense that maybe nature can feel the emotion that is going on in the story.

A sculpture of Achilles holding Patroclus found on Wikimedia Commons. 

The Slaying of Hector (end)

This famous scene of Achilles murdering Hector was too good not to write reading notes about. One of the things I like is the description of the fight itself. When homer describes spears being thrown or a sword hitting you can imagine it in your head. I have had trouble writing action scenes in story but what this made clear to me was that the best way to do this is by saying where things are. For example when speaking about Achilles striking Hector with his sword it is said that "by the collar-bone where the neck joins the shoulder" is where he strikes him. This is extremely precise and allowed me to see how exact one must be in describing action scenes.

Another thing I like to convey the action going on was the use of metaphors and similes. These allowed for comparison to other things one could relate to in order to visualize the scene better. For example he compares the head of a spear to an evening star. I think by keeping the comparisons simple and relatable it adds a better image than a drawn out comparison.


I feel like I'm repeating my self a lot with these notes, but I know that a plot is only as good as one conveys it. I think these notes will help remind me how descriptive I must be in conveying crucial moments in my stories.

Bibliography:

Homer's  The Iliad retold by Alfred J. Church (1907).

Reading Notes: Homer's Illiad, Part A

Of How the War with Troy Began 

I decided to write my reading notes on this part of Homer's Illiad because I think the way this introduces the story in its entirety is important. What I really enjoy about the way its told is the slight descriptions of the characters. There are slight descriptions about who they are but not too in depth which keeps it short and sweet. For example the story makes sure you know the connections between people like Menelaus and Agamemnon being brothers. 

Another aspect I enjoyed about this first part is that it makes very important details like the oath through speech. When Menelaus and Agamemnon challenge the people to come and support their promise I find it important that it is in their voice. I think as a writer this makes the reader able to realize what exactly is going on better. I almost felt like one of the soldiers myself reading it and thats obviously what was trying to be done. 

There was a lot of information to be given here so the fact that it was kept concise is inspiring as a writer. I'm not sure if I will need an introduction for any of my stories but if so this is how it should be done. If anything I can take away the impact of dictation for emphasis of things that will come to 

life later on.

A statue of Achilles found on Wikimedia Commons. 

The Deeds and Death of Patroclus

One thing I truly admire about this part of the Illiad is Patroclus. I think this is such an emotional conversation between him and Achilles because you can fully feel his passion in his words. I like the idea of a character who despite his differences in opinion with another still feels the need to fight. I think it is a great aspect in showing the importance of the fight going on that he is willing to risk his life. In my stories I would like to have a character who can express so much emotion in speech and also his actions. However as much as I love how strong a fighter Achilles is, this section is frustrating because he won't fight. That just shows how emotional this is because as a reader you're getting upset due to actions and words. I think in some of my stories where I want to add a hero I also need to add something so descriptive as to why there needs to be a hero in the first place. I might not be covering this perfectly in my notes but I think by the briefness of Achilles, it makes Patroclus even better. In my writing I should keep this in mind of having counter parts. 

Bibliography: 

Homer's Iliad (retold by A. J. Church)