Although this article seems to be aimed at giving feedback to children, I felt that most of it could apply to a adults as well. One of the things I truly liked about this article is that you can shape someone into believing in themselves just by changing their mindset. Another thing I truly enjoyed was the idea of being "specific". One time I was writing a paper and I went to the teacher to ask for help. The teacher read the paper told me what I needed to change but overall said how much she loved it. That same paper I changed what was recommended and got a grade less than the average. I was shocked but I wish the teacher had been more specific in telling me what could have used some work instead of praising it in a false way. I also like the idea of taking yourself out of the picture when giving feedback. This might be a personal opinion but I feel that if you are comparing your work to another when giving feedback the person will now only try to resemble you rather than grow. I also feel the person might be let down in the sense they can't ever reach the other person's ability when that isn't what it is about at all. Overall, I thought this article was a positive influence in helping one convey how to positively give feedback.
Criticizing Praise
This article talks about how praise is a judgment rather than a feedback. I have to say that I agree with it when it says that kids seek this praise for betterment of themselves but only in the sense they are pleasing someone. I would be lying if I said I wasn't looking for praise from people in my life with some tasks I performed rather than trying to just better myself. Yet I am conflicted off this article because I feel that praise really isn't given out too much in the sense that it is bad but rather I think its given out too much in the sense of manipulation. I think people will give praise or what they think is feedback just to train someone into doing good for themselves rather than the person who deserves to be criticized.
With these different articles in mind I would say I should probably give less feedback to people. I think unless people are working towards a common goal feedback could possibly work negatively. I have told people things look good when they could be better just because I am being selfish. I'm sure others (like the teacher above) do the same just because they don't want to truly analyze someones abilities or actions. I know this seems slightly negative but I feel it is true. I believe unless you truly are invested in a person then you shouldn't be giving feedback or unnecessary praise. I think I am going to try and give feedback no matter how small the issue only when I am truly confident in what I'm saying to the person. This way I don't leave the person trying to please me or leading the person on.
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This is a picture I found to be representative of giving feedback in a confident manner of what is said. This image is from Wikimedia Commons. |
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